You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you...
Reevaluating relationships before the end of the year
I had never fully understood the phrase ‘you are who you surround yourself with’ until this year. It is quite astonishing just how much of an impact your environment and the people you choose to let into your life can have on your own character, behaviours, thought patterns and more. Towards the end of 2024, my everyday began changing for the better and I started feeling closer to the most authentic version of myself. I had to pause and take a moment to question: why?
Aside from consistent inner-work, I noticed that there had been a shift in my social circle. I had distanced from friendships and let go of romantic relations where the energy did not feel reciprocal, and I welcomed in wholesome, mutual and more fulfilling bonds.
There is no doubt that the greatest relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. But the quality of our connections with others (both romantic and platonic) can alter our everyday as they serve to either recharge or drain us.
As the year draws to a close, it is a pertinent time to reflect on these connections and to consider the space they take up in our lives. For you can’t always change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to keep around you <3
Actions speak louder than words…
“I feel like I’m back in your life and nothing has really changed. I know you can’t change a man…and you definitely can’t change a man like you. But…I still want…something to change a little bit…for me.” Carrie Bradshaw
There is no denying…we’ve all been Carrie at some point in our lives. It’s easy to look past a lack of change when you want something so desperately to work out, but if there’s one thing I learnt this year, actions speak louder than words. In love, and in friendship, promising words float in a vacuum of their own until they are accompanied by action. And when the action fails to appear, is when I disappear.
Some talk to you in their free time, and some free their time to talk to you…
In 2024, I began to weed out friendships and relationships that felt one-sided. Those where if I wasn’t the one reaching out, making plans, or starting conversation, then it would be radio silence from the other individual involved. That is not to say that I have let these people go from my life entirely, but I dialled down the level of investment from my side. It is so much more fulfilling and socially recharging to make time for those that want to make just as much time for you. And sometimes…life gets busy, people drift apart for one reason or another. I have learnt not to fret when this happens; for those who are meant to stay always find their way back, and when they do, it feels like no time has passed at all.
Laughter is the best medicine…
For a long while, I believed myself to be doomed with the shortest social battery of anyone I knew. Now I realise it’s because I was spending too much time with people who were draining that battery instead of recharging it. Over the course of the past semester, I have laughed and laughed and laughed. I feel more present in my friendships than ever before and as a result I feel even more connected to my true character. One of the most healing feelings is laughing until the tears are falling down your face, and the six pack begins forming. These are the social moments and interactions I cherish deeply. Saying that, it’s also these friends that I can comfortably sit in silence with on those days when the battery really is dead. & that’s just as important too :)